Hope for the Day

-----------------------------------------------------------
"HOPE FOR THE DAY" from Clara Hinton
http://www.silentgrief.com
-----------------------------------------------------------
June 11, 2007
When we lose someone it feels as if the center of our world is gone. And, when the center is gone, nothing seems to fit into place like it once did. Everything just seems to swim around and not have any real meaning or any real place to go.

It takes a long time following the death of a child to begin to fill in the empty space in the center of our world again. We know it will never feel completely right again, but with time and lots of adjustments our world can begin to fill in with purpose and meaning again.

Hope is the one thing that brings life back to us when all has been taken away. We can see hope in the budding of a flower, in the fluttering of a butterfly, and in the rainbow following the storm. We see hope in everyday kindnesses shown to us - the smile from a stranger, the hug from a friend, and the phone call from someone who cares and has not forgotten us in our pain.
Hope knows exactly when to arrive and it is never late. Hope begins to fill in the empty space, and in time we feel a comfort that we know is real. Our world that was once diminished by loss has begun to grow again.

Hang in there, and remember that the emptiness does not last forever. Hope is so powerful that it can build roots when the tree has been cut down. Hope can bring a new day when we've only been seeing night. Hope is alive and will give us new life! --Clara Hinton

"Sometimes when one person is missing the whole world seems empty, but hope is stronger than any emptiness and will fill our soul with peace!" -- Clara Hinton

"He will keep your soul." --Psalm 121:8b

Dana has arrived!!!!!!

Dana’s Birth Story – 30th May 2007

We found out we were expecting Dana, after a very long difficult journey of healing the loss of our first daughter, it had taken me a year after that to ovulate and the doctor then diagnosed me with PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), and told me he cannot guarantee when I will conceive again, but that I needed to keep my stress levels down and he prescribed glucophage and clomid, which will help me to ovulate every month and regulate my insulin levels. Dana was conceived after 2 months on the prescribed medication, so she is definitely our miracle baby, Praise God!!! Her expected due date was the 16th June 2007.My pregnancy was pretty easy with no complications. The only stressing part of the journey was that my Obstetrician ended up going on sick leave, and so from week 32 I had to see a new doc, it was a bit stressful, but I took it in my stride and went with it, putting my faith in God and not on the doctor. It helped also that he was an excellent obstetrician with good credentials, so it made the transition much easier. On my week 34 appointment at the doc, he checked Dana out and said she may have to come out earlier than the expected Caesar date of the 6th of June, because the blood flow to the placenta was a bit low and he was scared she may not receive enough nutrients in the last stages of growing and she might go into distress. So he told me to come in for an amniocentesis on the 23rd May, and if the lungs were mature, he would do the Caesar the following day.The 23rd May arrived with much excitement and anxiety as she would only be 36wk3days and I was a bit hesitant with her being born early. At 12h00 I had the amnio done and a checkup. Doc then told me he will give me a call after 4pm to let me know what decision he has come to. After 4pm, he called and told me that he would like Dana to bake another week, as her lungs are not mature enough for him, and she will be better out the following week as well as the blood flow was fine, so there was nothing to be concerned about for now. So the Caesar date was then rescheduled for the 30th May 2007 at 07h30 and I would have to have cortisone injections the Monday and Tuesday of the following week before the Caesar. The Tuesday evening arrived with much joy and anxiety. DH and I could not believe that we were going to meet our precious girl tomorrow. I was booked into hospital 20h30 pm and prepped for surgery for the next morning. I could not sleep the entire evening as I had continuous heartburn and winds, so I tossed and turned the entire evening...Lol At 05h00 I was awoken to take a bath/shower as they would be taking me up to Labour Ward at 06h00. I managed to have a quiet moment before then and thanked the Lord for a pleasant and safe delivery of a healthy baby girl. At 07h00 the nurse attempted to put my drip into my hand twice but failed and my hand swelled up immensely and was really sore, so she told me she would get the anesthetists to put the drip in. At exactly 07h30 I walked into theater and got up onto the operating table where the anesthetist administered the epidural. It happened in no time and I started feeling the tingling sensation in my legs. They stared cutting me and then the Ob started having slight problems, Dana turned and was lying transverse and he was having difficulty getting her out, she eventually came out bum first, then an arm, her legs and her head last!! Even the pediatrician was helping to press down on my tummy to assist. All I remember my doc saying she is giving me grey hairs here!! She eventually came out at 07h54, crying. Her feet were blue from them trying to get her out. She weighed 2.760 kg, and 48cm. Her apgar scores were 6/10 and then 8/10 because of her delivery. They took her to the incubabator immediately after mommy had a chance to meet her to warm her up. I was totally in love and couldn’t believe she finally arrived. Her sugar levels were also low because of the glucophage that had to be taken throughout my pg, but other than that we had a very healthy baby girl.I thank God for this amazing experience once again, the miracle of life. The opportunity once again to become parents and having that awesome privilege once again. It was an amazing birth experience, despite the minor complication in theater, but was handled smoothly by the hands of the doctors, that I believe God handpicked for her safe journey into the world. There were so many ways I have seen God’s hand in this, I had a wonderful healthy pregnancy, a smooth birth, I even managed to carry to 37 and a half weeks, I ended up with a completely different Obstetrician, Pediatrician and anesthetist, hospital and nursing staff . It was confirmation to us that we were meant to have a totally different experience second time around with joy, peace and love.

Thank you Jesus for our miracle. We promise to look well after her.

Some pics of her from birth till now:

Hope for the Day!

It has been a bit hectic at work and while on maternity leave, so could not update as I have wanted to, but hopefully will be back on track now, giving updates and hope and encouragement.

-----------------------------------------------------------
"HOPE FOR THE DAY" from SilentGrief.com
http://www.silentgrief.com
-----------------------------------------------------------
June 4, 2007
What's the hardest part about losing someone? That's the question that most people in grief answer every day of their lives. They know the answer because they live with it day in and day out. Separation. It's knowing that there is separation from the one that was loved so much.
Some people might say that the separation should be easy when you believe in heaven, but the person in grief will tell you that, although knowing you will meet again some day, the pain of separation is still the most difficult pain of all.
It's foolish to expect to "get over" a loss. The pain is always there. In time, the pain isn't always at the forefront, but it's still there. There's always the fantasy of what might have been. There are always those times when you will wonder what if things had been different.
On the hard days it helps to remember that the pain will not always be this acute. Hope has a way of seeping into the heart and lighting a small flame that eventually burns brighter and brighter until we can be happy on most days in spite of the grief. Hope assures us that we are never alone.
Hope anchors us to the thought of a better tomorrow. Hope shows us the miracles found in each new day. Hope allows us to lay our heads down on our pillow at night and sleep.
Hope keeps us sane on those days when we feel like we're losing it. And, hope surprises us by appearing at times when we least expect it. Life takes a sudden turn and we are given new strength and new doors are opened. A new friend walks into our life. A new job leads you to a strong support system. A new season gives you the boost your soul needs. Hope is amazing. It is never late, and it always arrives in just the right way! --Clara Hinton
"Hope is the link that anchors us to God." --Clara Hinton
"This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast..." --Hebrews 6:19